Today, we are having a discussion about confidence and fashion. It’s a topic I address almost daily in consulting and often receive on my channel. Typically people will fall into one of two groups. The first loves fashion and you can tell they are so passionate about it. They can list their style icons, and favorite brands, and come up with great concepts. In spite of this, they go on to say something along the lines of, “and I just don’t know how to put it together,” or “I don’t think I can pull it off myself.”
The other group does not care much for fashion, it is simply a means to an end. They are busy focusing on different areas of their life. Maybe a lawyer, for instance, is someone career is driven and strives to look as professional as they are, or another who is looking to step out of their comfort zone and wants to look good when furthering their personal life. However, this confident feeling and look are unique to everyone. Even when I say to envision a stylish person, we all have different images in mind but the one thing they all have in common is the confidence to wear it.
Some have bold confidence and others a quiet confidence. So, I will not be giving you a list of buy this, this, this, and that then you will look and feel great because everyone is empowered by different clothes. Instead, we will be going over fashion psychology and styling techniques so that you can style yourself confident overnight or keep it in mind for the next time you go shopping to truly bring your style to the next level. This is very important as fashion is such a powerful form of expression. It’s not just an art form, but also a means of communication. It’s a Nonverbal language that is universal and only 7% of communication is actually verbal so it’s important to look and feel confident in your outfit. It’s not even necessarily just what you’re wearing that creates your look, but how you wear it. For instance, how you walk in your shoes or carry your bag. If why someone minimal n outfit and still look stylish or one could wear the most out-there piece so many people find unappealing and transform it into the most coveted trend worldwide.
Scientists find individuals subconsciously act in ways that match their appearance. So when you think oh I can’t wear this, I can’t pull it off, but you like it. You are making yourself small because you’re holding yourself back because what you wear may have a significant impact on not just your mood, but also your productivity at school or work and your ability to connect with others.
One of the most nerve-wracking things about branching out stylistically is the inevitable spotlight that follows. You’re torn between liking your look and the fear that others will ask, Why are you wearing that? In a bad way Who does he or she think she is wearing that.” But those few seconds should not define how you look for the rest of your life. As Tom Ford once said, “Dressing well is a form of good manners.” So as long as you are appropriate and respectful, there is no need to dwell and hold onto this.
This is similar to the nature of the trend cycle. It’s different to like something that is trending and enjoy it versus I need to wear this to look good. Having others dictate how you dress and look will leave you feeling unhappy, that your style isn’t your own, or that something is just missing.
When I was getting my BA in communications with a concentration in design, I began to work as a womenswear ready-to-wear stylist. I focused in my studies on symbolic annihilation and the impact of fashion imagery on the subconscious mind. This is quite a handful, so let’s break it down. Symbolic annihilation refers to the misrepresentation or underrepresentation of people in media. This occurs more commonly in groups such as women, people of color, and the LGBTQ+ community, but men can experience this as well as there are societal standards and depictions of men in media. It is why it is important for a little girl to see a Barbie that is a doctor so that she knows that she can grow up and have this as a possibility as well. Many times, these belief systems are deeply ingrained.
The subconscious mind takes in information as true, so when one sees a film, scrolls social media, or flips through a magazine the imagery can influence their self-concept. It is why many will think to themselves, “My body isn’t right for this” or “I’m not pretty enough to wear that.” It is detrimental, especially to those struggling with mental illness, but even in the overall population, we have seen a rise in concern in regard to beauty and/or dress.
Especially in this day and age where we are just bombarded with different imagery and the trend cycle is so rapid. Symbols in the media are directly linked to how people see themselves and how others see them. This affects how people are accepted or rejected because they are buying or wearing a garment that represents a “lifestyle.” Symbolic annihilation refers to the representation of people in media. This mainly impacts the lgbtq+ community, people of color, and women, but it also impacts men who don’t see themselves as well. I focused more on the impact of fashion imagery in media on the subconscious mind- how this can distort the relationship people have to their own image and the image of others, how it can form misconstrued belief systems based on preconceived notions or my main focus how it can even impact self-worth and mental health.
It’s why having confidence in your outfit is not about “achieving” an aesthetic, sporting the hottest trends, or wearing the most expensive clothes possible. All these things are fine, but if you rely on it- the clothes are wearing you and not the other way around. It doesn’t evoke a tone of confidence. Your presence has so much power and you must focus on this.
I think we all have a moment where you put on an outfit that you’re so excited about but then go out and feel a bit shaken up by maybe a snide remark or someone making a face. Even just looking a bit different, standing out to some degree can be daunting. This is why it’s important to feel good in what you wear.
Confidence is defined as a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities. It’s about being assured of your choices, acting on them with conviction, and having faith in your own decisions. That you are confident in your own abilities, such as dressing up.
Say you are a creative type, a singer-songwriter for instance. You need to begin to work with fashion as an art form in the same way. You style the outfit the way you would write a song, then go on out the door into the world the way you would step on stage. Or maybe you are a logical type and don’t have that innate sense of style. You just can’t see what goes together. Rather than trying to match patterns, colors, and other art elements instead you must focus on what you are trying to communicate with your look and fall back on the scientific approach to fashion. When you look into your closet, it won’t be an assortment of clothes, but rather variables to mix and match. This shirt with these pants makes a formal look or these shorts with this button-down is casual. You will feel confident wearing the clothes because you have used your strengths. This will not only make you look great, but feel great in what you are wearing. The intention makes a world of difference because enclothed cognition which states that individuals take on the characteristics of their clothing. The classic white doctor’s coat, for instance, is associated with an air of authority and a heightened sense of care and consideration in its wearers.
It’s not simply a marketing campaign when brands claim that feeling good in your own skin is a direct result of donning a beautiful bag or sporting a leather jacket that you really like. Should you be dependent on a designer bag to make you confident? No. But the clothing we wear no matter the price, era, or style each day conveys a message about who we are to the world and may have a profound effect on how we feel.
You can use this to your advantage, almost like a push when you’re getting started. Say you are more introverted like me, I will wear more glamorous clothes on a night out and feel not just my mood elevate because I’m out having a nice time, but also more outgoing because I have styled myself in a way that suits this environment. A girl in a lace mini dress and opera gloves shouldn’t be off in a corner or a man in a suit with beautiful shoes is one more likely to take charge at a meeting. You just carry yourself better. The more you do this technique, the more you will feel confident in taking the steps you want with your style
G. Bruce Boyer has a quote where he states “Real style is never right or wrong. It’s a matter of being yourself on purpose.” Having your purpose present in your outfit makes it confident. Sometimes it can be difficult to feel confident when you’re maybe struggling with insecurity. YSL has a quote that goes, “I have always believed that fashion was not only to make women more beautiful but also to reassure them, give them confidence.” You can style your outfits this way with the following styling techniques.
Visual Weight is such a great tool and is defined as a measurement of how strong an element is at drawing the eye. When I say the phrase, often clients become a bit nervous expressing they prefer an hourglass figure, are trying to create an androgynous figure, or work out and do not wish to look bigger. Visual weight has nothing to do with your body weight, so please do not fret! It can actually be applied to create the silhouette you want and feel more comfortable in. For example, say you want an androgynous silhouette, but your waist tapers in. To create your preferred look you would opt for pieces such as a boxy blazer, a straight-cut tee, or a leather jacket. By bringing out the lines of the waist, the visual weight is increased and in proportion to your body will give you the look you love.
The next technique is visual dominance. Visual dominance dates all the way back to our prehistoric roots. Going back to our prehistoric roots, visual dominance is a common and critical way to show dominance and confidence is to appear large and powerful. When someone makes their body bigger and higher than others they are sending superiority signals. It’s the same as squaring your shoulders back and fixing your posture to look confident but through clothes.
For an example of visual weight using my outfit and of visual dominance, please see my YouTube video on the topic. Simple ways to create visual dominance are to wear bold colors, pieces that take up space around you, and statement accessories. The dominant element of an outfit is the most prominent. It’s what catches the eye more than anything else.
This is great in social environments, when you show up and are going this is who I am. Like if you are in an office setting and you’re a bit younger than your peers instead of trying to dress older than your age by dressing your age but doing so with confidence and a strong sense of style you are conveying confidence, and showing decision-making skills.
You want to determine which garments provide you with the most joy and why by giving some thought to this question. Whether it’s a certain shade of color, a particular dress, or a go-to outfit in general, think about why you like wearing it so much. Can you say you feel more assuredly beautiful or handsome while wearing it? In that case, why? Consider this your reference on off days when you want to look and feel confident.
The term “dopamine dressing” refers to the idea that certain garments may boost your mood even on days when you’re not feeling your best by stimulating the release of endorphins. The next time you’re feeling a bit blue don’t reach for what you typically go for, go through your wardrobe until you find something that makes you happy like a gorgeous bag or a nice jacket.
Lastly, I want to touch on is find your style icons who you can look to and find inspiration on how to dress confidently. As Chuck Klosterman, “Art and love are the same thing: It’s the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you.” Please choose three to fit the following criteria:
- One you love the style of and if you could wear their wardrobe you’d be over the moon. You look to them in a style rut and channel their clothing confidence.
- One who looks like you physically. They do not need to share the same taste in fashion, rather you will learn from them about color palettes and pieces that will also work beautifully on you.
- One who you admire in how they carry themselves that you can relate to. Say you are an athlete for instance and there is a professional that you adore in interviews. Study how they carry themselves and how they use the power of their presence.
Through this, you will garner greater trust in your relationship with yourself and your look. It is almost like a bit of an incentive, as Edith Head once said, “You can have anything you want in life if you dress for it.” As an additional piece of advice, never reject praise. Don’t dismiss or divert attention from it. Just take it. Own it. You won’t look confident otherwise. People are very quick to dismiss a compliment. So hypothetically say if my friend said she loves my dress and my waist looks great, I wouldn’t respond by saying “Oh, it is just the ruching. Normally I don’t look this way.” I would simply say, “I love this dress too, thank you so much. And if you like something about their outfit you can return the compliment. It makes fashion and the conversation a little less daunting so when you are met with insult you can almost diffuse the situation with grace rather than carrying it with you. Then when you are met with those moments where someone says something or maybe you look a bit different. You won’t feel out of place.
You’ll be treated with more respect, and viewed as competent, you’ll earn further success since, and more advantages will present themselves aligned with your personal goals when your personal style matches you. When you look the way you feel inside or who you are evolving to be, your confidence grows further the image helps open the doors meant for you
